Life Goes On
by Bobbie23
Summary: Spin off from my other stories Hindsight, Standing Up and Second Chances, this is the story of Spencer and his relationship with Helen. Spencer/Original character.
1. Chapter 1

Author Note – this is a spin off from my other stories _Hindsight, Standing Up _and_ Second Chances, _you may want to read those first as they introduce Helen and her relationship with Spencer, butthey focus on Derek and Emily_. _This is for Tannerose5, who asked me to write their story. Sorry it's taken me so long.

Disclaimer – I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters, nor the poem or quotes that I use.

"You can shed tears that she is gone,  
or you can smile because she has lived.  
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,  
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.  
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,  
or you can be full of the love you shared.  
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,  
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.  
You can remember her only that she is gone,  
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.  
You can cry and close your mind,  
be empty and turn your back.  
Or you can do what she'd want:  
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

David Harkins

Life Goes On – chapter one

December 2014

Spencer's opponent got up after losing the second game in a row to the young doctor, shaking his hand as he went. He had returned to the park a few months previously after taking a break from playing chess after Maeve's death. The only game he had played was the trans-Atlantic one he kept going with Emily since she moved to London.

In the year and a half since her death, Spencer thought a lot about the impact she had on his life in the short time he had with her. He would always have regrets about never meeting her till the day she died, never telling her he loved her, never been able to dance with her. He would be forever grateful for the support Morgan had given him since that fateful day in his apartment. As the older agent destroyed the vials of dilaudid, he snuck into his bedroom to get dressed. Listening to Morgan talk about his experience of dealing with Emily's 'death', about how he focused on finishing what Emily started as a way to honor her loss had led Spencer to think about the impact that Maeve had on his life.

She had been precious to him, and Spencer hadn't wanted to share her with the rest of the team. He knew sometimes he wasn't able to pick up on some behavioral clues when it came to women, and he had been scared the others, Morgan in particular, would make fun of him if he told them about Maeve. He didn't need to meet her to know he loved her. He had been addicted to hearing her voice, her laugh, even her breath on the other end of the phone. Spencer had often found himself drifting off to sleep replaying their conversations in his head, her lyrical voice soothing him. His Sunday routine had revolved around that short conversation they had every week.

Spencer found doing the things he associated with that routine after her death was too painful. So he stopped coming, stopped playing chess. He shut down.

It had taken him a long time to realize she wouldn't want him wallowing in mourning, would want him to live. In the first counseling session he had attended with Morgan, Spencer had written a letter, much like the one he had written when attending the group for his addiction to dilaudid. He'd addressed it to Maeve, promising to honor her life and the lasting impression she had left on his. She had come into his life trying to help him; she had left it loving him.

Maeve would want him to keep living, not locking himself away in his apartment. After the counselling sessions, his first steps had been to start doing the things he had stopped after Maeve's passing. He started going back to the park and after a few weeks of watching, his hands itched to play. The young man who had once encouraged him to return to the game, did the same again and invited him to play. That had been six months ago.

He started to set up the next game while he waited for another opponent to take the seat opposite him. He still had a few hours before he had to be at Morgan's for the team dinner. The scraping of wood on the floor on the other side of the table made him look up to greet the person standing there. Spencer smiled warmly for a moment before he took in her posture. The woman he had seen several times since he started visited the park stood there, her hand hesitantly placed on the back of the chair. He swallowed lightly as their eyes connected.

"Hi, my name is Helen, can I sit here?" She tucked a strand of her mousey brown hair behind her ear nervously.

Spencer could see she was scared as she tried to hide the rapid intake of her breathing. He smiled reassuringly at her as he gestured to the seat opposite him. "Of course."

She gave him a shy, but grateful smile as she quickly came around to the side and dropped herself into the chair. Her hands dropped to her lap, her fingers twiddling anxiously as she watched Spencer finish setting up the game. "My name is Spencer."

Helen nodded her head, acknowledging the introduction; her brown eyes were glued to the board between them. They began to play, Helen taking the first move. There was silence between them as their first aggressive exchanges easing into a steady pace. Spencer found himself drawn to the movement of her hands as they moved the pieces, her long slender fingers grasping the wooden figurines. All earlier hesitation was gone as she focused on the game in front of her.

Profiling was second nature to Spencer. From her behaviour, he deduced she severely introverted, but knew she didn't want to be. He hadn't seen her talk to anyone in all the times that she'd been at the park, nor had he ever seen her play chess before. Spencer had realised she knew how to play when they watched the same game, her eyes would dart to the next move that should be played. He hid his smile when she gave a small shake of her head if that move wasn't played.

As they approached their final moves, Spencer realised he had been too focused on his opponent to realise she had him in three. He made the inevitable move, and so did she. They slowly raised their gazes to one another. Spencer caught the small spark of victory in her eyes, before it disappeared when she averted her gaze to the table again.

Helen hurriedly went to move her chair backwards, and Spencer realised she had been spooked and she was running away, retreating back into the shell she created around herself. He found himself needing to prevent that from happening.

His arm reached out to her touching her hand lightly, not wanting to scare her. Her eyes shot to his as she stilled her movements. "Do you want to play again?" Spencer asked gently.

She stuttered nervously as she thought for a moment. Helen looked around them, seeing that no one was paying attention to them. With a wide-eyed expression still on her face, she sat back down returning Spencer's small smile as she breathed deeply again, hoping for the impending panic attack to pass. Helen had found herself drawn to Spencer since she had started observing the players in the park. His presence and focus was oddly comforting to watch, which was why she had approached him when she decided to play her first game in the park. Her therapist would be pleased with how she had done today, Helen felt proud of herself.

They played three more games that afternoon, before the alarm on Spencer's phone went off. He shot her an apologetic look as he turned it off. "I'm sorry, I have to go. My friends are expecting me."

"It's okay," Helen told him as he packed up the pieces. She was more relaxed now than she had been at the beginning. She began to gather her own things as he slung his bag over his shoulder. The awkwardness began to set in as they were both ready to leave. She hated these situations, and once again she felt the panic begin to rise within her. Luckily he saved her from it.

"Would you like to play again?" Spencer asked. Helen looked a bit confused as her eyes travelled over his bag, and obvious intention to leave. "I mean next week. Um, I get called away for work quite often, but if I'm here…" Spencer was suddenly nervous. His pulse was racing as waited for her response.

Her chest puffed slightly as she breathed in heavily. Helen had no idea where the compulsion came from, but she found herself nodding in acceptance of the offer. Spencer's responding smile made her stomach flutter, and she was slightly unnerved by the new sensation, a new confidence spreading through her.

"I'll see you soon," he said as he walked backwards for a few paces before Helen gave him a timid wave and he turned around fully to walk away. Helen watched for a moment before walking away herself, smiling softly at the turn of events. She would be back the next week.

'In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate'

Isaac Azimov


	2. Chapter 2

Life goes on – chapter two

January 2015

The following week, Spencer walked towards the recreational hall. There was a light covering of snow on the ground from the night before. He walked up the steps to the building and stopped as he realised all of the lights in the building were off. The old caretaker was just stepping out of the door as Spencer approached him.

"Sorry son, the heating has packed up. There'll be no chess today," the old man told Spencer. "Hopefully, we'll be all fixed by next week."

"Oh," Spencer said as he looked regretfully towards the doors of the hall. He'd been looking forward to today all week. His thoughts drifting to the intriguing woman he'd met the week before. He felt the disappointment set in as he realised they wouldn't be able to see each other this week. When he told Morgan about her last week, he had been trying to figure out what had sparked his interest in her. Spencer was initially guilty, his thoughts turning to Maeve and he felt like he may have been betraying her in some way.

Several times Spencer had considered not coming, but he felt compelled to be there. He didn't want to break his promise to Helen.

Spencer watched the caretaker get into his car and drive off. Standing at the top of the steps he looked regretfully at the building before he heard a rustling behind him. Turning he saw Helen, wrapped up tightly in her coat, her focus on the ground. "Uh, hi," Spencer called as she walked up the steps. Her head snapped up, and their eyes connected briefly. Spencer flashed a small smile as he gestured towards the hall behind him. "The heating isn't working, so there's no chess today."

Helen looked past him to the doors, and she looked dismayed as she saw the lights off. Suddenly she realised that Spencer was still watching her, and found his scrutiny unnerving. Despite the cold, she felt the perspiration on the back of her neck as the panic set in. She didn't want a set back like this, she had been doing so well.

The urge to flee became overwhelming and she turned to go when Spencer called out to her. "Would you like to have coffee?" Helen looked over her shoulder doubtfully at him, wondering his motives. Seeing his sincere expression, she took a deep breath as a flare of hope return. Maybe there wouldn't be a set back.

"I would like that," she told him with a shy smile. Immediately Spencer's smile grew and Helen was glad she had accepted his offer.

…..

Twenty minutes later they were settling themselves in a small coffee shop. Spencer placed their coffee on the table between and looked up when he heard Helen trying to disguise a laugh.

"What?" He asked, confused.

Helen gestured to the scarf he was loosening from around his neck. "Um, the scarf is just like the one Doctor Who wore."

Spencer's lips quirked as he looked down at the piece of clothing. "I knitted myself actually, for the Doctor Who convention a few years ago."

Helen's eyes sparkled with the new knowledge. "You knit?" She didn't know what it was that made her feel comfortable around Spencer.

"I find it quite relaxing, it keeps my hands busy," Spencer explained, before he took a sip of his coffee. For a few minutes they were silent, which became slightly awkward. "What do you do?"

"Um, I'm a researcher with the Smithsonian," Helen told him. "What about you?"

"I'm a profiler for the FBI."

"You said you get called away a lot," Helen enquired hesitantly, not sure if she was allowed to ask those questions.

"The team who I work with do consultations around the country," Spencer explained. He thought back to the question that plagued his mind all week. "How long have you been playing chess?" He asked, wanting to ease into the real question, not wanting to scare her.

"Almost all my life, my grandfather taught me," Helen swallowed the lump in her throat. Feeling her leg beginning to shake, she took a couple of deep breaths in hope to control her on coming panic attack. She gripped her cup tighter.

Spencer glanced at the leg that was bouncing, and became concerned at the deep breathing. Sensing that she was in the early stages of a panic attack, he watched her face and her eyes which were darting around the room, trying to see if anyone was watching her. Spencer leant into her line of vision, her eye widening as he captured her attention. "Focus on me," he said, breathing steadily as he placed a reassuring hand over hers on her cup.

She did as he asked, and she found her breathing fall into sync with his. Her heartbeat slowed as she felt the panic leave her. Helen shot Spencer a guilty look. "I'm sorry," she said. "I've…I'm…I've been having therapy for them," Helen confessed.

"It's okay," he reassured her. He wanted to ask her more, but didn't want to make her anymore uncomfortable than she already was. Helen took a couple of shaky breaths before she moved her hands slightly underneath his, indicating that she wanted to drink. Immediately he released her, and she lifted the cup to her lips, the coffee warming her.

Spencer watched as she drank. Even though her head was bowed, Helen kept her eyes on him, finding his presence oddly soothing. She could see the questions in his eyes. He deserved an explanation, but Helen was unsure if she would be able to get through it. She needed to face this, it was the part of the therapy. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the coffee before placing the cup back on the table. "I've had panic attacks since I was a child," Helen explained, feeling calmer now. "At first it was my ability to talk to groups of people, but then it developed into anxiety of new social situations. I'm okay one on one. When I'm at work, I tend to only interact with my boss," Spencer's gaze was gentle, encouraging her to continue. "I was teased a lot, so much so, that what started as normal anxiety developed into panic attacks." Helen took a sip of coffee, giving herself a break in her explanation, to deal with her own memories.

Spencer nodded in understanding, not wanting to say anything to disrupt her flow. "I dealt with it by not putting myself in those situations," Helen said. "Before my mother died, she encouraged me to get help. I've been seeing a therapist since." Spencer took a sip of his coffee.

"It's part of my therapy to try new things," Helen smiled slightly as she thought of the progress she had made the previous week. "I like chess, so my therapist encouraged me to start going to the park to play so I would meet new people. It took me six months of watching to get up the courage to sit down opposite someone."

Spencer smiled at the memory. "You should be proud of the progress you've made," he told her gently. A pink blush tinted her cheeks as she smiled herself, nodding. "I lost someone a few years ago," Spencer told her. "After she died, I stopped doing things that I associated with her. I started going to the park as part of my own therapy."

They sat drinking their coffees in silence as they were both absorbed in their own thoughts. "I'm sorry for your loss," Helen said after a few minutes. "Thank you."

"For what?" Spencer asked.

"For inviting me for coffee, for listening, for sharing," Helen took another deep breath. "I mean you're a stranger, you don't know me, but you took the time to listen and comfort me. That's never happened before." Something clicked in his mind and Spencer leant forward, resting his forearms on the table.

"I would like to get to know you," he told her hesitantly. He felt a strong affinity with the woman sitting beside him.

Helen couldn't hide her shock, but she nodded. "I would like that." Spencer's smile was infectious, and Helen found herself returning it as he took a card from his wallet.

"Um, this is my information, if you want to meet for coffee again or just to talk." Helen took the card from him. His phone beeped, and he reached into his pocket. He read the message quickly and typed a reply, before looking at Helen apologetically. "I'm sorry; I've just been recalled to work." Helen nodded in understanding.

As he readied himself to leave, she got a pen and napkin, jotting down her number. "My number," Helen explained as she held the napkin out to her. Their fingers brushed as he took it from her.

"Hopefully, the heating will be fixed before next weekend," he said as he tightened the scarf around his neck. Spencer felt reluctant to leave her; he wanted to learn more about her. But he had to go. "I hope to be there, if I'm not still away," Spencer told her.

Helen nodded. "I'll see you next week," she assured him as he left.


	3. Chapter 3

Life Goes On – chapter three

January 2015

Spencer had been unable to make the following weekend because he was still away on the case, but he text Helen to make her aware. They had exchanged messages throughout the week. That evening his text had resulted in a short conversation over the phone while he was taking a break in a quiet hallway of the police station where they were. He was smiling at something she said when Morgan had signalled for him to come back to the group from the end of the hallway.

"I've got to go, my colleague is waiting for me," he held a finger up at Morgan, indicating that he'd be a minute. Morgan looked confused for a moment, before he nodded his acceptance.

"Okay," Helen said sadly. "Um, I'll talk to you soon," she said hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll call you when we're done here."

"Okay," this time she sounded happier. "You better go."

"Yeah," he paused for a moment. "Goodnight Helen,"

"Good night Spencer," she said as hung up. Spencer listened to the dial tone for a moment, before pressing the disconnect button on his phone. Placing it back into his pocket he made his way towards Morgan.

"Hotch wants us to head over to the morgue and talk to the coroner about the last victim. Apparently, there is something different about this one," Morgan told him, and raised his eyebrows in question as the younger man approached. "Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I was just telling a friend I wouldn't be able to meet them tomorrow," the younger man replied as they started to walk towards the stairwell. "How was Emily?"

"She's good," Morgan smiled his face lighting up as he thought of her. They got into the SUV, buckling their belts. "How's it going at the park?"

Spencer hadn't mentioned anything about Helen except that one time, on the day they met. Spencer had been trying to figure out his own thoughts about the relationship. Morgan didn't push for details, letting Spencer come to him if he wanted to talk.

"Last week the heating had broken down, so I didn't play," Spencer told him, smiling softly at the memory.

Morgan caught the look, wondered what caused it, but didn't ask about it. Spencer would tell him when he wanted to. He drove on in silence, concentrating on the roads. "I went for coffee with the woman that beat me at chess the week before." Spencer watched Morgan try to hide his surprise as he glanced at him before returning his attention to the road as he pulled into the parking space in front of the morgue. Their minds turned to the case at hand as they entered the building.

The new evidence the medical examiner was able to give them gave them a break in the case and they were on their way back to DC the following night. JJ had given up on her poker game with Spencer. Throwing her cards down in defeat, she mumbled something about getting some rest before moving to the sofa to lie down.

Now that they had a semblance of privacy, Spencer resumed the conversation they abandoned as they entered the coroner's office. "I'm confused," Spencer admitted. In the two years since Maeve's death, Morgan had been a source of support and encouragement. He had shared his own experiences as a way of helping Spencer through his grieving. Spencer hoped he would be able to do the same in this instance.

"What are you confused about?"

Spencer leant forward, picking up the discarded cards on the table, shuffling them as he tried to verbalise his inner turmoil. "I find that I'm intrigued by Helen," he stated. "But I can't help feeling guilty about that," Spencer told him in a rush.

"Kid, slow down," Morgan told him, holding up his hand. "You just met this woman. How would you like that to progress?"

"I want to get to know her," Spencer admitted.

"Then let things progress naturally, you don't have to rush into anything," Morgan advised him.

Spencer was silent for a moment, his hands stilling, holding the cards in them. "I just don't want to have any regrets."

"You can't let the past rule your future," Morgan said. "Maeve wouldn't want you to feel guilty, but take things at your own pace, one that comes naturally to both of you," he paused. "What kind of impression are you getting from Helen?"

"Helen's very shy," his thoughts going to the previous week's panic attack. "But I think she wants the same things I do." Spencer smiled, thinking of their conversation the night before. "We've talked a couple of times while we were away."

Morgan nodded in understanding, happy his friend was open to exploring a relationship with someone. He'd come a long way since Maeve. When Spencer told him about Helen, Morgan was worried the younger man would shut himself off, but he'd had the opposite reaction. He hoped he wouldn't make things develop too quickly.

"That's good," Morgan told him, trying to be encouraging, while hiding his apprehension. Spencer saw straight through it, and he could understand that worry, he was worried about it himself.

"I appreciate your concern," Spencer told him. "I won't rush into things," he promised.

…

February 2015

Taking Morgan's advice on board, Spencer had continued to get to know Helen, not pushing the developing friendship any further than that. Over the coming weeks, Spencer was able to go to the park every Sunday. He would play a few games with other players, before Helen would sit opposite him. The first time they drew an audience Helen had fought off the panic attack Spencer had seen rising in her. The following week he encouraged her to start playing against some of the others. She had been reluctant at first, but felt more confidence once she was engrossed in the game.

Afterwards they started going for coffee, which developed into lunch. They would occasionally talk over the phone during the week. Helen revealed some of the new things she wanted to try as part of her therapy, and in return Spencer had told her more about Maeve.

Morgan had interrupted them one weekend, leading Spencer to ask her to dinner during the week, his heart swelling when she accepted his invitation.

They settled themselves into the corner booth of the restaurant, taking off their jackets. "I'm sorry about not being able to stay on Sunday," Spencer told her as he picked up the menu.

"It's fine, was your friend okay?"

Spencer smiled as he nodded. "Yes, he wanted to tell me he had asked his girlfriend to marry him."

"Did she say yes?"

Spencer's smile got bigger as he thought of the hug Emily engulfed him in when he had accompanied Morgan home that afternoon. "Yes," Spencer paused briefly. "I'm going to be his best man."

Helen smiled. "That's nice, you two must be close."

"We are," Spencer explained. "We've worked together for a long time. His fiancé worked with us until nearly three years ago. She's just moved back to DC from London."

"You're close to the people you work with," Helen stated, seeing the light shining in his eyes as he thought of them.

"They're like my family," Spencer told her. "What's your family like?" he asked hoping he wasn't over stepping.

"It's just me," Helen told him quietly. "I was an only child, and my mother died a few years ago. My grandfather died when I was in high school and I never knew my father." She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. "What about you?"

"I was born in Vegas and my mom lives there," he felt it was too early for him to disclose about her schizophrenia. "I have an aunt and uncle there as well. My father left us when I was younger, though I did see him briefly a few years ago."

"Have you ever thought of trying to reconcile?" Helen asked, sensing his turmoil.

He shook his head. "He left us, and I can't forget that," Spencer said. A slightly uncomfortable silence overcame them, broken by the waitress arriving and taking their orders. When they were alone again, he spoke again. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's okay," Helen said, looking down at the table as she fiddled with her napkin. "Let's not talk anymore about absent fathers, seems like a sore subject for both of us."

Spencer nodded. "Agreed," he said. "How's the new exhibition coming?"

Helen's eyes lit up and she told him about the developments that had been made. The rest of their meal flew past without any more awkwardness. After paying the bill, Spencer walked Helen to her car.

"I had a great time tonight, thank you," Helen told him as they stood beside her car.

"Me too," Spencer stood with his hands in his pockets. "Um, there's a late night showing of some of the first Doctor Who episodes next week. I was wondering if you would like to go with me."

"I would love to," Helen said. They stood staring at each other silently for a moment. Spencer watched as he saw a look of indecisiveness cloud her face for a moment. Spencer was surprised when she stepped forward, bracing her hand lightly on his abdomen as she leant up and kissed his cheek softly, and her perfume filling his senses. "Good night Spencer," she said as she pulled back, looking at him shyly. He gave her a shy smile.

"Good night Helen," he said as her fingers brushed his as she stepped away to get into her car. Helen gave him one last smile before driving away.


	4. Chapter 4

Life Goes On – chapter four

March 2015

The following week, they were in the darkened theatre watching the black and white grainy episodes of Doctor Who. Spencer's eyes were on the screen, but his senses were taken over by Helen's presence next to him. He snuck a glance in her direction and found her staring intently at the screen. He turned back to the screen himself, thinking she hadn't realised he had looked at her, when out the corner of his eye he saw her shoot him a small smile. Spencer smiled shyly, his gaze still on the screen. He tried not to react when he felt her head drop on to his shoulder. His heart raced when he snuggled closer to her, taking in her warmth.

It was the early hours of the morning when they got out of the movie theatre, walking down the street towards Spencer's car. "How is the preparation for the new exhibition coming?" He asked as he held the passenger door open.

Helen grimaced slightly as she thought of it, feeling the nervousness setting in. Spencer saw her unease with it the change of topic. "What's wrong?" He asked as she stood between him and the car.

"My boss asked me if I would be able to give a talk about one of the exhibits on opening night," Helen explained.

"Do you want to do it?" Spencer asked gently. He knew how much she loved the exhibit she was working on, knew she was torn.

Helen sighed as she looked up at him. "I do but I'm scared." She paused. "My therapist said that it will be good for me, the next step in my therapy."

"I think it would be," Spencer told her. "You've come a long way."

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Getting it wrong…people laughing…that it's going too fast and I'm not ready," she explained.

"The people who will be there want to be there, and they want the person with the most knowledge on the subject to be giving them that information," Spencer smiled. "That's you. They won't be looking for you to mess up; they will be fascinated by what you have to tell them. Your boss obviously has the confidence in you, and so do I." Helen blushed lightly, looking down at the ground. "You'll be great."

Helen looked back up him, the pink twinge still colouring her cheeks. "Will you be there?"

"Of course."

…

The next Thursday, Spencer stood at the back of a small crowd in front of one of the exhibits. Helen was stood at the front, beside the artefact, point out some of the features. He saw her shake momentarily as she addressed the crowd once again, her hands clasping in front of her, fingers intertwining. Helen's eyes found him and he could see the nervousness masked in her eyes. She stared at him for a beat longer, before taking a deep breath and continuing with her speech, the audience around her captivated as she spoke.

Spencer barely heard a word she said, the rhythm of her words washing over him as he watched her, but he already knew it word for word, as he had helped her rehearse on Sunday evening. Her eyes danced as she referred to one particular aspect, she was drawing to a close.

She asked if anyone had any questions, and fielded the answers seamlessly as she focused on that person. Once the crowd fell silent, Spencer saw the anxiety creep back into her face, but Helen's boss stepped in between her and the crowd, leading them in applause as he thanked Helen. Spencer smiled as he clapped with the gathering watching as Helen ducked away, her cheeks flushed as everyone was still focused on her.

Her boss said a few words to the crowd, covering her retreat. She managed to make it to the back of the crowd. "I can't believe I did that," she said excitedly as she reached Spencer.

"You were amazing," he told her as her hand lightly touched Spencer's forearm. Helen beamed up at him, the adrenaline still coursing through her.

"Thank you for being here," Helen said her breathing calming down.

Before Spencer could reply, Helen's boss appeared from within the crowd. "Helen!" he said loudly as he approached. "You were fantastic. I knew you would be, but I didn't realise that you would exceed my expectations." It was at that moment he realised he was interrupting them, immediately he turned apologetic. "Oh I'm sorry; I didn't know your boyfriend was here."

Both Helen's and Spencer's eyes widened at the term and before Helen could correct her boss, Spencer shook the hand he was offered. "Doctor William Carrington, this is Doctor Spencer Reid," Helen made the introductions.

"Nice to meet you Doctor Carrington," Helen was surprised when Spencer didn't correct him about his misunderstanding.

"You too Doctor Reid," he looked between the young couple. "What field are you in?"

"I work in the Behavioural Analysis Unit with the FBI," Spencer told him. The older man seemed shocked, looking Spencer up and down. They made small talk for a few moments and Doctor Carrington excused himself to talk to some of the museum's donors, leaving them alone once again.

There was an awkward silence for a minute before Helen spoke. "Um, do you want to go? I don't have to stay now that the talk is done."

Spencer nodded and he helped her into her coat that he had been holding. A short while later they were walking along the Mall, their arms brushing. The street lights reflected off the water.

"I've had a wonderful night," Helen said. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around giving that talk."

"You were great. You must be proud of how strong you were to face your fears."

Helen nodded bashfully as she thought back over the evening and the preparation she had made before she started, fighting off the panic as she felt her heart begin to race. Spencer's encouragement to concentrate on her material had echoed through her mind as she spoke to the audience.

"Why didn't you correct Doctor Carrington when he referred to you as my boyfriend?" Helen asked shyly.

Although he heard the curiosity in her voice, he couldn't hear any annoyance in her voice. Spencer wasn't sure what to say. "Did you want me too?" He wanted to make sure he was reading the signs from her correctly.

They walked a few paces in silence as Helen thought about her answer. "No," she answered finally. They had known each other for a few months now, and with the increasing amount of time they were spending together, both of them were reluctant to part. "I like spending time with you," Helen admitted.

Spencer smiled as she moved closer, and he wrapped a hand around hers. "That's good, because I would like to continue spending time with you," Spencer told her.

Helen laughed gently as her head dropped to his shoulder and Spencer pressed his lips to her forehead gently. They walked towards where Spencer had parked and he opened the passenger door for her. She stepped into his space, and he felt a soft pressure on his lips as she kissed him. His eyes closed as his hands went to her waist. The kiss ended and they stayed in each other's embrace.

"I had a wonderful time," Helen said, a little breathlessly. "Thank you for encouraging me to do it."

Spencer kissed her lips chastely again. "Thank you for letting me be a part of it."


	5. Chapter 5

Life Goes On – chapter five

May 2015

"Remind me again, why did I agree to have lunch with you three?" Spencer groaned as he sat in between Penelope and JJ, while Emily was sat opposite him. Each of them had a playful spark in their eyes as they smiled sweetly at him. He found it quite unnerving, and he found himself wishing that someone was there to back him up. He made a mental note to force Morgan into coming with them next time.

"Because you love us, and everyone else was out of the office," Penelope told him happily as she playfully prodded his cheek with her nail. "So, when can we meet the woman who stole my Boy Wonder's heart?"

Spencer felt the heat in his cheeks as he unconsciously smiled at the thought of Helen. It had been nearly two months since the night at the museum and they had been dating ever since. The rest of the team had been curious about who Spencer was talking to, and rushing off to meet when he left the bullpen. Morgan had realised they had moved past the friendship stage without Spencer telling him, and he had offered his congratulations with a hand shake. Spencer had told the others he was meeting a friend and they understood, all of them happy for him. Now Penelope was getting too excited to meet his 'new friend'.

He looked pleadingly at Emily and JJ for help, but found neither of them forthcoming. Spencer switched his gaze back and forth, figuring out who would be most likely to crack and help him. Finally he focused on Emily. The brunette's eyes narrowed slightly under his scrutiny.

"Morgan met Helen," Spencer explained. Emily's eyes narrowed even further as he mentioned her fiancé, while Penelope's widened with the knowledge. Unfortunately, she was undeterred.

"My chocolate thunder is not one of us," she said pointing at the other women at the table.

"Are you sure I can't count Morgan as an extension of Emily?" JJ laughed at his joke, and Emily smiled. Penelope raised her eyebrow at him over the top of her glasses; she tried to hide her smirk as she shook her head.

"When are you going to introduce us?" Penelope practically whined. He looked at Emily, imploring her to help him.

"Come on Pen, leave him alone. He'll introduce us when he's ready," Emily said, finally taking pity on him. She shared a sideways glance with JJ, who stood up.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she looked pointedly at Penelope, who got the idea and followed her.

Once they were alone, Emily fixed her eyes on Spencer. "Do you know how many times I've had to talk through wedding plans just to keep Pen from going to watch you play chess?" A look of realisation came over his face turning to one of gratitude.

"Thank you," he said with a smile.

"I owe you for playing matchmaker," she replied with a smile and a shrug. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Emily spoke again. "Does Helen make you happy?"

"Yes," Spencer told her. "She's wonderful." Emily gave him a wide grin as he looked over his shoulder towards the ladies room; there was no sign of Penelope or JJ. "Do you think I should introduce her to everyone?"

"That's up to you," she said. "Reid, we would love to meet Helen, but only when you and she are ready for that. We all know that she makes you happy; we see the light back in your eyes. That's all we need to know," she told him gently.

"I want to," he admitted. "She's very shy though." Emily nodded in understanding; a group of profilers could be intimidating.

"Why don't you ask her?" Emily suggested. Her question was left unanswered and Spencer mulled over her words as Penelope and JJ re-joined them, the former looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry Reid," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "I needed reminding that we all kept our relationships secret for a while before revealing them to everyone." Penelope shot him a wide eyed look. "Forgive me?"

"I know that you just want what's best for me," Penelope nodded emphatically. "Thank you," Spencer told her. "You will meet Helen," he reassured her as they continued with their meal.

…

Later that night, Spencer was sitting on a blanket in Helen's back garden as she set up her telescope to watch a meteor shower. She settled against him, absorbing his body heat as she wrapped the other blanket around them.

They watched the stars in silence for a while. Helen burrowed into him even further as the temperature dropped. "What are you thinking about?" He had been unusually quiet since he arrived earlier.

"I went to lunch with Emily, JJ, and Penelope today. They asked to meet you."

"Do you want me to meet them?" Helen asked open to the idea because they were all special to Spencer.

"I do, you're all important to me, and I would like for you to get to know them," he said as he turned to look at her. "Do you want to meet them?"

Helen thought for a moment before nodding. Spencer leant forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Tell me about them," she whispered as she pulled back and they laid back on the blanket, Helen tucking herself into the crook of Spencer's arm and shoulder. Her head rested on his chest as their fingers found one another on his stomach, twirling around each other. "I sort of met Morgan, but you haven't told me much about them."

"He's probably the closest to me," Spencer started as the arm he had behind Helen tightened, bringing her closer as he started to explain his relationships with the rest of the group. "He helped me when I lost Maeve; convinced me to go to counselling sessions, even came with me to them." Spencer explained as he thought of the older man, and that time long ago when he called on Morgan to destroy the dilaudid he planned to use to take his own life

. He felt a lump form in his throat as he spoke. "He's saved my life on many occasions," Spencer said quietly as he wiped his eye.

Helen tightened her hold on him, sensing his need for comfort. "He sounds like a good man."

"He is," Spencer smiled down at her.

"You said he just got engaged," Helen said.

"To Emily," he nodded. "Um, she left the team a few years ago to take a job in London. After losing Maeve, I told Morgan not to let his second chance slip away." Spencer laughed as a thought came to him. "She's probably one of the few people who can beat me at poker." Helen's sweet laughter filled the air around them.

"I really want to meet her. What about the rest of them?"

They talked long into the night, only seeking the comfort of her enclosed porch when it was started to rain. They lay on her grandfather's old hammock, the blankets piled on top of them as they snuggled together. Spencer told her stories of the team, making her laugh at some of them, and he cried with her in other parts. She shared childhood stories, her fondest of when her grandfather built her a tree house which was still in the oak tree at the far end of the garden.

They grew silent as the sun began to rise over the horizon. Helen eyes glittered in the new dawn as she looked at Spencer and suggested they do something she hadn't done in years. "We should have breakfast in the tree house."


	6. Chapter 6

Life Goes On – chapter six

June 2015

Spencer raised his hand and knocked on the door as they stood on Morgan's porch, his other hand held Helen's tightly. They heard a bark from inside and he squeezed her hand reassuringly as they waited for someone to answer.

They heard shuffling as someone approached, the door clicked open. Emily stood there, signalling to Clooney to stay back before ushering them in. "Hey Reid," Emily smiled as she pulled him into a hug. As they stepped away from one another Spencer gestured to Helen, clasping her hand once again.

"Emily this is Helen, Helen this is Emily," he introduced.

"Hi Emily," Helen offered the other woman a shy smile as they shook hands, and Emily gave her a warm smile.

"Hi Helen, it's nice to meet you," Emily moved aside to bring them further into the house. They could hear the voices of the other members of the BAU in the living room as well as quiet music. Spencer reached out to stroke Clooney. "This is Clooney," Emily told Helen, who reached out to let Clooney sniff her before stroking him. "You ready to meet the rest?" Emily asked as she moved to the living room door.

Helen made eye contact with Spencer briefly then turned back to Emily. "Yes," she said with a nod that conveyed more confidence than she felt. The enormity of the situation suddenly hit her. She had been excited when they made the plans to meet his friends, wanting to do it because it was important to Spencer, therefore it was important to her. The fear that they may not like her came to the forefront of her mind.

Spencer read the emotions playing on her face and he squeezed her hand again as he paused. Helen took a deep breath and squeezed his hand back shakily. She shot Emily a glance out of the corner of her eye, and saw she was looking at her with an encouraging, gentle smile. Helen took a deep breath and nodded at Emily that she was ready.

Emily pushed the door and walked through, Clooney following her. Immediately they heard an excited yell from the dining room. "Uncle Spence!" A little blonde boy came running over and Spencer crouched down to hug him, when his legs were crushed together by the boy's arms.

"Hi Henry," Spencer said as he pulled back from the little boy to stand up, his hand slipping into Helens' again as Henry still grasped his leg.

When he noticed the woman holding Spencer's hand, Henry ducked behind his god father's leg, peeking around it up at the woman. He tugged on Spencer's jacket, to bring him back down to his level again. "Who's that Uncle Spencer?" He said in a loud whisper, nodding his head in Helen's direction.

Spencer tried to hold in his laughter and he waved JJ off when he heard her gasp at her son's question, ready to come forward to make introductions. He took hold of Henry's small hand in his free one and uncurled the boy from around his leg. "Henry, this is Helen, she's a very good friend of mine."

"Hi Helen," Henry said, less shyly than he was a few minutes ago, seemingly happy that Helen was friends with his uncle.

"Hi Henry," Helen gave him a little wave and he smiled up at her, waving back before running off to his seat between JJ and Penelope.

Spencer stood back up and together they faced the rest of the room, all eyes were on the new arrivals. Spencer introduced everyone, pointing at them as he said their name. "Helen this is Penelope, you've met Henry," the boy giggled and waved again. "JJ, Alex, Hotch, Beth, Jack, Rossi, and you remember Morgan."

Each of them smiled openly at Helen. "Hi everyone," Helen said.

Morgan moved forward first. "Hey Reid," he said before turning to Helen. "Helen, it's nice to see you again. I'll get you two some drinks," he said as he brushed past them.

They spent the evening talking with the rest of the team. Everyone welcomed Helen in. Henry had shown his approval by jumping on her lap, watching Spencer with excitement dancing in his eyes as Spencer showed them some magic tricks.

It was late in the evening when people were starting to leave, JJ first and Morgan carried a sleeping Henry to the car for her. Alex, Hotch, Beth and Jack followed soon after, the older boy protesting that he wasn't sleepy despite yawning while he said it.

Spencer walked through the empty living room into the dining room, towards the back porch, where he heard voices. He saw Helen talking with Penelope, Emily and Morgan as Clooney sniffed around the backyard. He halted in his approach, leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets; he wanted to observe for a moment.

Helen had been a surprise to him from the start, and with every meeting Spencer found himself hoping she would keep surprising him for a long time to come. Tonight she had once again shown how courageous she was and gotten to know his friends.

Her smile was unguarded as she sat on the top step, laughing at something Emily said. Penelope said something in response, and the four of them laughed harder. She had sat and listened to his friends tell stories about him, talked to Henry and Jack, asked Emily about the photo of him and Henry in similar outfits which was on the mantle.

"She's a keeper," Spencer jumped as Rossi's voice cut through his thoughts.

Spencer spared a glance in the older man's direction before refocusing on the four people sitting on the steps. "She is," he said quietly.

Rossi watched Spencer's lip twitch as he smiled, captivated by the woman who was listening to Morgan. In the last few months, Spencer had been happier than he had for a long time. Rossi had seen the air of contentment settle around him, and he was happy that he had put Maeve's death behind him. He himself had lost two loves in the past few years, and his time with both women had been cut too short; had his own regrets.

He was proud that Spencer was strong enough to allow himself to open his heart to another. Helen was an enchanting young woman, who was well suited to Spencer, and he thrived when he was with her. Rossi patted Spencer shoulder in approval, squeezing it briefly, causing Spencer to turn to look at him. He nodded at him once and then walked out to join the others on the porch.

Penelope turned her massive grin towards them as soon as she heard their footsteps drawing closer. "I was going to send out a search party for you two. We were just warning Helen about the amount of coffee our genius here consumes." Rossi shot Spencer his trademark smirk, and the younger man shot an embarrassed look at Helen, who giggled back at him as he sat next to her on the step, her hand immediately seeking his as she relaxed into him. Spencer tried to hide his blush as he saw everyone's eyes soften at the gesture.

A few hours later, Spencer pulled up outside of Helen's house. Turning off the ignition, he turned to her expectantly. "Did you enjoy tonight?"

"Yes, your friends are great. Henry and Jack are sweet," Helen said. It was the truth; she had a wonderful time getting to know Spencer's friends and she loved listening to their anecdotes about him. She had never known a group of people to be so welcoming; they had put her at ease very quickly after her initial anxiety. Relief washed over her as she realised they liked her.

She looked over her shoulder at her house; turning back to him she was suddenly apprehensive, unsure whether or not to ask what she wanted to. Their eyes locked for a moment, and Helen felt warmth spread through her. Her eyes flickered to his lips, and she leant in slowly, his lips meeting hers halfway. They moved gently against one another, and Helen felt Spencer's hand cup her face to keep her there. Their passion grew, and Helen took the initiative to deepen the kiss.

Helen pulled back, Spencer's hand still rested on her cheek as they both fought to catch their breath. Her heart beat was still thundering in her ears, when she spoke, "Would you like to stay?"

Realising what she was asking, Spencer's eyes widened in shock and he stumbled over his answer. Taking his lack of response as a sign of rejection, Helen shrugged off his hand and retracted her offer. "I mean just to sleep…" The water filling her eyes told him she was lying and he finally found his voice.

"It's not that I don't want to, but it's late," Spencer swallowed and he reached out to grasp her hand. "When we have our first time, I want to be able to spend the night focused on you," her eyes softened as he explained. "I can stay if you want me to."

Helen nodded. "I don't want you to go," she whispered and Spencer released her hand so they could leave the car. Once they were inside her house, she silently took Spencer's hand and led him upstairs. They paused outside the guest room, before Helen tugged his hand and continued on to her bedroom, where she switched on the lamp on her bedside cabinet. Helen left him in her room as she used the bathroom to change.

Her hand quivered slightly on the handle as she let herself back into the bedroom, where she found Spencer resting against the headboard on top of the duvet. He had taken his tie, jumper and shoes off. Their eyes held as she walked towards the bed, and he silently lifted her side of the covers. Turning off the light she crawled in, fluffing her pillow under head. Spencer tucked the duvet around her, his hand drifting to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingertips lingered on her cheek as he leant down and kissed her lightly. "Goodnight Helen," he whispered hoarsely as he shuffled down to lay beside her.

"Good night Spencer."


	7. Chapter 7

Author Note – I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourites the story. I have gone back and edited the story to add dates on the chapter, to give it a timeline so it fits in with _Second Chances. _

Life Goes On – chapter seven

August 2015

The following month Spencer and Helen spent hardly any time together because the team were called away on back to back cases. Spencer felt bad for how they had left things the morning after he spent the night at her house. There had been awkward glances and Helen was quiet and feeling rejected from the night before. He had tried to reassure her, but her clouded eyes told him he hadn't gotten through to her.

They had been dating for four months and when she had asked him to spend the night he had been scared of crossing that line too soon. He didn't want to rush the physical side of their relationship. He loved spending time with her, whether it was in the park, having coffee or dinner, quietly talking about their day over the phone, or in a darkened movie theatre. They occasionally had spent the night with each other just sleeping, one or both of them pulling back from their passionate embrace before it became too heated. When Helen offered herself to him panic flared inside his heart and he was frightened to open himself completely to her, afraid if he did he would lose her.

It was the first time he felt that way about the relationship. Since then the regrets he felt when losing Maeve hit him full force, and his fear turned into guilt. Morgan picked up on his worry and encouraged, urged him not to give up, so Spencer phoned her every night while he had been away, attempting to keep their connection. He had listened intently to her voice as they spoke, noting every inflection and any sign of hesitation. But he heard none; she had been receptive to him, all previous disappointment gone. Her gentle tone and laughter had alleviated most of his worries and guilt. He couldn't help the nagging concern in the back of his mind that those doubts would always come back to haunt him.

They were wrapping up their latest case in Vegas; the team was finishing up the interrogations and handing over to the local police. It was early evening when Morgan approached him while he was packing up the conference room.

"Hey Reid, I just spoke to Hotch," Morgan gestured behind him in the general direction of the rest of the team. "We're staying for the night," there was a pause. "We can handle the rest of the hand over if you want to go see your Mom."

Spencer blinked in surprise for a moment; he hadn't been expecting that even though they had done it for him in the past. With the amount of time they'd been away for the past month, he expected everyone to be eager to travel back to DC to spend the night in their own beds. He knew JJ was desperate to get back to DC as both she and Will had been working a lot. After a long moment, he smiled gratefully at Morgan before gathering his things so he could leave.

"Thank you, I'll see you back at the motel later," he said as he passed Morgan and waved at the rest of the team. As he took to the stairs of the station, he pressed the speed dial on his phone for the Bennington Sanitarium. The line rang for a few moments before it was answered.

"You're through to the Bennington Sanitarium, how may I help you?" a woman answered.

"Hello, this is Spencer Reid, Diana Reid's son. I know this is late in the day, but I wanted to make sure you were still able to accept visitors this evening." Spencer reached the bottom of the stairs and pushed the door open to let himself out onto the street, the noises of Vegas filling his ears.

"Oh, Doctor Reid, of course," the woman on the other end obviously knew him, but he couldn't place her voice. "Your mother is about to start reading to the other patients, how long till you arrive?"

"Uh I just need to hail a cab, then about ten minutes," he looked up and down the street looking for any sign of a cab.

"Okay, see you soon," she said cheerily as they hung up.

He didn't have to wait for long before a yellow cab came down the road. Spencer stuck his arm out to hail it down. As he sat in the back seat, he sighed in relief. It had been a long time since he had seen his mother. Despite her illness and wandering mind, he found her presence comforting. The woman on the phone had sounded upbeat and he hoped for a good visit with her.

The car ride seemed to be over quicker than he expected, and soon he was opening the door to her ward. He approached the nurses' station he met with his mother's doctor who was listening to his mother as she sat in front of the other residents reading from her book.

"Spencer," Doctor Norman greeted with an out stretched hand. "This is an unexpected surprise, how are you?"

Spencer grasped the older man's hand firmly. "I'm fine Doctor Norman. How is my mother today?"

"She's doing well, as she has done for the last few months," he nodded in the direction of Diana. "We haven't told her you were on your way."

"I didn't know myself until just before I phoned, I've been here on a case and I didn't expect to have the opportunity to visit," Spencer explained as he watched his mother, her attention on the book open in front of her so she didn't see him. "If you don't mind, I'm going to sit and listen as she finishes the chapter. I don't want to interrupt her," he said as he gestured towards an empty chair.

Doctor Norman nodded enthusiastically. "Of course," he ushered Spencer towards the chair. "As long as the other patients aren't disturbed you can stay as long as you need." He patted Spencer on the shoulder as he settled. "If you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork." Spencer smiled as he nodded.

Spencer listened to his mother as she read and he was reminded of those times in her room when she would read to him as a child. He allowed his mind to wander as her words flowed over him, his thoughts turning to Helen, imagining introducing the two women. Spencer hadn't told his mother about their relationship in his daily letters. Nor had she ever known about Maeve or how he was affected after she passed.

His visits had been rarer in the last few years, when he had the time he spent with her was brief and he left quickly. Tonight he found himself craving the sound of his mother's soothing tone. He listened to her read for the next thirty minutes, the other patients equally engrossed by the story. Once she finished, the others clapped quietly as the nurses started to usher people to their private rooms. Soon it was just Spencer left with Diana as she sat continuing to read to herself while she waited to be taken to her room.

Spencer rose from his seat and approached her silently. "Mom," he spoke softly, drawing her attention. Her gaze snapped to his direction, her piercing eyes connecting with his as she blinked in surprise.

"Spencer, what are you doing here?" He took the chair nearest to her and pulled it closer.

"It's just a quick visit. I've just finished a case here." Spencer saw her troubled expression in reaction to his words.

"All of your visits have been quick lately," was all she said in response. Spencer leaned forward, resting his forearms on his legs as he clasped his hands together.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely as he down looked at his hands. He promised himself he would take some time soon to visit her properly. "Doctor Norman says you have been feeling good lately," Spencer looked back up at her.

"I always feel better when I read to the others; it reminds me when I read to you when you were younger." She looked at him for a moment, and Spencer felt like she was looking straight through him. It took a lot for him not to shy away from her scrutiny. "You seem to be doing better lately," her eyes softened as she continued to look at him. Spencer was confused; it had been a long time since he had been around her when her mind was this clear. He tilted his head quizzically at her. "Your letters are happier than they have been in a long time," she explained.

Spencer sat back in his chair as they stared at one another for a long minute, he didn't know how much she knew, but Diana knew he had been distressed. When he didn't respond, Diana continued. "I don't know what happened but I know you were hurt, a mother knows when her child is upset. The way you wrote told me how isolated you felt, and I wanted to be able to take away your pain."

Spencer licked his suddenly dry lips as he thought of how to explain. "Uh, I lost someone that I cared about," he started. "You're right, I was grieving her loss." Diana reached out a hand to her son, tears in her eyes as she felt his turmoil. "It took me a long time to move past that." He felt her hand squeeze his, and he smiled reassuringly at her, trying to ease her guilt for not being able to be there for him.

"Something has changed recently," she urged him to continue. Spencer's smile was unguarded as he thought of Helen, aware that his mother was still watching him closely.

"I've met someone," he told her, and her head tilted to the side as she processed the information. "Her name is Helen and we have been dating for a few months."

Diana's expression was neutral as she appraised Spencer. "What is she like?"

In his mind he could see Helen as they woke up together that morning in the hammock, the sun reflecting off of her hair and a sparkle in her eye as she led him up to the tree house. "She's nice. You would like her."

"What does she do?" His mother managed to control her expression, and Spencer found it hard to read. He had never told his mother about his romantic relationships before.

"She works for the Smithsonian." His mother's eyes drifted over him again and he fought the urge to fidget.

"She makes you happy." It wasn't a question, but Spencer nodded anyway. Diana face melted into a smile. "I would like to meet her."

Relieved, Spencer smiled back as he nodded again. "You will," he assured her.


	8. Chapter 8

Author Note – Sorry for the longer than usual update intervals, last chapter was due long hours at work (working in retail at this time of year can be horrible, and it's not started properly yet); this chapter just had me stumped for a few days. Hope you like it.

Life Goes On – chapter eight

August 2015

It was early Friday morning when the plane hit the tarmac with a thud, and everyone sighed in relief to be back in DC. Especially since Hotch had taken them off of rotation for the weekend, as well as telling them they were free to go as soon as they filed their reports on the case. They exited swiftly, filing out one by one to the waiting SUV's. They drove to Quantico quickly as possible, eager to drop off their paperwork and clear out for the weekend.

Spencer arrived back the motel late the night before, after talking to his mother for a long time before she grew tired. He had promised to visit for longer as soon as he could. Diana had also made him promise to bring Helen, she was very curious to meet her. After eating dinner, he phoned Helen and told her he would be home the next day.

"_We'll be home early in the morning."_

"_Do you want to come over?"_

"_Is that okay?" He asked tentatively._

"_I've missed you," Helen said coyly. Spencer could feel the heat rise in his cheeks at the soft tone of her voice. _

Spencer dropped his files on his desk. JJ sat opposite him and started to go through her emails and messages. "Any plans for the weekend Spence?" She asked as she glanced over the partition between their desks.

"I'm going to see Helen tonight," he replied as he read through his own messages. "What about you?"

"I hope that if I get through these messages, I can pick Henry up from school and spend the weekend with him and Will."

Spencer smiled as he turned his attention back to his messages. "Thank you for last night."

JJ threw him a glance over the partition. "You deserve more time with your mom. How was she?"

"She's doing well, we had a good visit," their eyes connected briefly. "I told her about Helen. She wants to meet her."

JJ eyes widened in surprise. "Wow, it's getting serious," she said with a good natured teasing lilt to her voice. Spencer flashed a self-conscious smile, while nodding his head. "When are you going?" She asked as clicked on her last email.

"I'm not sure yet, I need to talk to Helen first." Spencer commented as he double checked one of his files, trying to get his paperwork done quickly.

"It's definitely a good idea to talk to Helen about meeting your mother before you arrange it. I'm happy for you Spence," JJ said as she searched for a file in her in tray. "Helen's lovely." She plucked one file out from the bottom. "Found it." She turned her attention back to her paperwork, hoping to make her own deadline of collecting Henry from school.

A few hours later, JJ stood behind her chair packing her bag as she talked to her babysitter on the phone. "I'm sorry for letting you know last minute, but I'm picking Henry up today." She listened to her babysitter respond. "I wasn't sure if I would make it. Thank you for understanding, I'll see you next week, bye." She pressed disconnect and looked over the divide at Spencer. "Have a good weekend Spence," JJ said happily. "Don't be too long," she called over her shoulder as she patted Alex on the shoulder as she passed. The other woman waved at her in response.

"Night JJ," Spencer raised his hand in a half wave as his attention was still on his computer screen. Nearly an hour later, Spencer packed up his own bag and after saying goodnight to Alex and the others he followed JJ out of the door.

When he arrived home he went through his go bag, putting his dirty washing in the washing machine and repacking the bag with fresh clothes, so it was ready to go if he was called on an emergency. After checking his mail and the small amount of housework he needed to do, Spencer made his way to his bathroom and started to run the water to warm up for his shower. There were still a few hours till Helen finished work, and he was eager to see her.

He had missed her. There was a lot he wanted to discuss with her, about them, about his mother. Spencer stepped under the cascade of water, allowing it to flow over him. He washed himself quickly, rinsing away the dreariness from work. After staying under the water for longer than necessary, he turned it off, feeling refreshed as he dried off.

As he entered his bedroom to dress he glanced at the clock on his night stand. He still had a while to wait. Deciding that was too long, he decided he would surprise Helen by meeting her at work, hoping it wouldn't be an intrusion.

Less than hour later, he was walking through the exhibition, the one he had attended the opening for, looking for Helen. He remembered that she had mentioned she was working with a school class who were doing a project on the exhibition. When Spencer saw no sign of her, he wandered around looking at the artefacts.

He was studying one display when he felt a delicate tap on his shoulder. Turning, Spencer registered Helen's smile as she wrapped her arms around him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as he returned the embrace, squeezing her tightly. They held onto one another for a long moment, till they became aware of people staring at them. They didn't care.

Pulling back, they gazed at each other. "What are you doing here this early?" Helen asked after a minute. "I wasn't expecting you till later," she said.

"I'm sorry," he was suddenly worried that he shouldn't have surprised her. But Helen shook her head at him.

"I didn't say I wasn't happy about it," she said and took his hand and led him back through the exhibition, opening a door and ushering him through. "I thought you would still be at work."

"As we've had a lot of cases lately, Hotch let us go when we submitted the paperwork for the last one," Spencer explained as he followed her along a corridor towards a door marked with her name.

They settled in her small office. Though he had never set foot in there before, he would have known it was hers; while there was a little clutter, he could see her personal touches; her post it notes covering the pictures on the chalk boards, the diagram of the constellations that her grandfather drew hung on the wall behind her desk, a picture of a young Helen and her mother as butterflies rested on their fingers was on her desk. Spencer sat opposite her as she perched on the edge of the desk in front of him. His fingers itched to reach out to grasp her hand.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Spencer asked quietly. Helen smiled reassuringly as she nodded.

"It's fine, I've only got a little bit left to do. I've got to put together some pictures for the school children that I worked with today," she said as she picked up some photographs from beside her, turning them so Spencer could see as she passed them to him. They were detailed diagrams of some of the displays, as well as a few of her working with them as they examined some of the artefacts.

"Are you sending them to their teacher?" Spencer asked as he resisted the urge to hold her again.

Helen shook her head as she pointed at a blank board on an easel in the corner. "The teacher asked me to go to the school when they were finished the project next week, so they could put the photos at the centre of their display."

Spencer watched her in awe. She had come such a long way, even in the months he had known her. Helen became self-conscious under his observation and she started to fidget on the desk, she looked away briefly, before shyly looking back at him. "What?" She asked.

"I'm very proud of you," he said as he stood up, stepping into her space. Helen's head tipped upwards automatically, and Spencer bent his head to kiss her, unable to resist the desire any longer.

Helen moaned lightly as she leant closer, her hands coming to rest on his waist as the kiss deepened. Spencer's hands rose to grasp the sides of her face. "I've missed you," Helen whispered between kisses.

Spencer pulled back, but his hands kept hold of her face, his fingertip brushing her lower lip. "I'm sorry I was away for so long." He kissed her chastely again.

"It's okay," Helen told him as she struggled to control her heartbeat.

His hands moved from her face and swept down her arms, coming to clasp themselves behind her back. "We could have been home last night, but the team stayed the extra night to allow me time to see my mother."

Helen's eyes widened at the admission, knowing he hardly spoke about her because of his guilt over her being in the sanitarium. "How was she?" She asked her fingers reached for the tip of his tie, fiddling with it nervously.

"She was good," Spencer said. "I told her about you." Helen blinked in surprise as she shuffled back on the desk, trying to get a little bit of distance. Spencer immediately picked up on her discomfort. "It's okay, she was happy about it. She, uh, wants to meet you," he added hesitantly. Helen let out the breath she had been holding as she relaxed.

"She does?" Helen asked, still a little unsure.

"Yes," he said as he stepped back so her could look at her properly. Spencer could see the same uncertainty he saw the morning after he spent the night. "When I was waiting to see her, I thought about introducing you to her. I've never thought about doing that with anyone," her eyes softened as she listened to him. "I want you to meet her," he declared as his hands came round to rest on her waist. "I'm sorry with how I left things before I was called away."

He gulped as he struggled to figure out the right words to explain his behaviour. "I was scared," Spencer told her. "I was afraid of how much I care about you and that if we crossed that line and I lost you…" he trailed off as her hand came up and touched his lip. Her lower lip twitched, as she touched him.

"Ssh," she said. "We don't know what will happen in the future. But I know that I care," her voice trembled as she spoke the word, "about you in a way that I have never felt about anyone else." Helen waited a beat before continuing. "And I want to be able to express that."

Spencer felt the heat rise in his cheeks, before he closed the distance between them capturing her lips with his once again. The kiss quickly became heated, and their hands began to roam. As Spencer pressed himself against her, she was pushed slightly back on the desk and Helen remembered where they were. Her hands came up to his shoulders, and she applied gentle pressure to push him back. "But I'm not going to express that here or now," she said once there was enough distance between them.

Spencer smiled sheepishly as he stepped back to allow her to sit up. "I'm sorry," he said as he put his hands in his pockets. The look Helen shot him told she wasn't and deep down neither was he. "I care about you too." He said once his breathing calmed down.

Helen climbed down off the desk and walked to the other side of the desk to put some distance between them, to resist temptation, to try and regain her composure. "I need to finish my work and then we can go," she said in a voice that conveyed more calmness than she felt. Spencer took his place in the chair once more as she faced the blank board. He picked up a book from her desk and began to read while he waited for her. There were silent for a few minutes before Helen spoke again. "I admit that it hurt when you didn't want to spend the night with me. But when our physical relationship progresses further, I want it to be because we both want it, that we're both sure," as she finished she made eye contact with Spencer. She reached for a picture on the corner of her desk, he got to it quicker.

He passed it to her, their eye contact remained steady as their fingertips brushed. "I am sure," he confessed. "We should take things at a pace that comes naturally to us." Helen smiled at him as she nodded.

"When we are ready, I want us to promise that we won't fight it," she said.

Spencer's hand pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as he cupped his cheek. "I won't fight it," he promised as he kissed her.


	9. Chapter 9

Author Note – thank you for the lovely reviews for the last chapter.

Life Goes On – chapter nine

September 2015

"Are you sure you want to do this Spence?" JJ asked. Her tone was cautious but Spencer could hear the hope in her voice. "If my mom hadn't been called away at the last minute, he would have been staying with her."

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure. I have babysat before," he explained.

"Are you sure Helen's okay with him spending the weekend?"

"Of course," he nodded and JJ looked relieved as she released the breath she had been holding. When Spencer had told Helen he was babysitting Henry over the weekend so JJ and Will could go away for a late anniversary getaway that her mother had arranged for them, Helen had offered for them to spend the weekend at hers.

"You two are great, thank you," she said as she leant in to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Do you have a sleeping bag for Henry?" JJ tilted her head in surprise. "We're going to be camping out in Helen's childhood tree house if it is dry this weekend," Spencer explained as he realised he hadn't told her what they had planned.

JJ let out a small laugh. "He would love that Spence. I'll make sure to pack a couple of warmer clothes for him in case it gets cold in the night. What time should I drop him off?"

"Whenever you want, we can give him dinner on Friday night as well if you want to get away early."

"You're great Spence; he's so excited to be spending the weekend with the both of you." JJ looked so happy, Spencer was glad he could do this for them.

"We're looking forward to it as well," he assured her.

JJ was about to turn back to her work, when she raised an eyebrow in question. "Have you ever gone camping Spence?"

He blinked a couple of times, before stuffing his hands in his pockets. "No, but I have read several guides on the matter. Including on how to make the perfect s'more, which I will be making for the first time this weekend." JJ smiled as she shook her head.

"Just a tip Spence, don't let him have too much sugar near bedtime. He'll be bouncing off the walls."

…

"Uncle Spence!" Henry shouted as he ran through the threshold. Spencer caught him quickly and hugged him.

"Hi Henry, are you looking forward to sleeping in the tree house?"

Henry nodded enthusiastically as he pulled away from his god father and grabbed hold of Helen unexpectedly, who looked shocked that the little boy was hugging her as tightly as he hugged Spencer. "Uh huh," Henry said as he tilted his head up towards Helen. "Is it really your tree house from when you was little Aunt Helen?" Helen gasped a little at the unanticipated title that he bestowed upon her. She glanced at JJ and Will in the open doorway as they looked on at the scene, neither of them seemed to have a problem with him calling her by it.

"It is Henry. My grandfather built it for me when I was about your age." Henry beamed up at her answer before turning to his parents.

"Did you hear that momma? It is Aunt Helen's tree house," he said excitedly, bouncing lightly on his feet.

"I heard little man," JJ opened her arms to her son. "Now come and give me and your dad a hug goodbye, so you can begin your fun weekend with Uncle Spencer and Aunt Helen."

Henry disentangled himself from Helen and rushed into JJ's outstretched arms. "I'll see you soon Henry," she said as she let him go. He kissed her cheek quickly and turned to Will as JJ spoke to Spencer and Helen. "Don't hesitate to ring if you need anything."

"Everything will be fine," Spencer said as she looked worriedly between Henry, who was high fiving Will, and Spencer and Helen. "Henry's happy about staying JJ, just go and relax for the weekend." JJ let out a sigh of relief.

"C'mon Cher," Will drawled from the doorway, his hand resting gently on Henry's shoulder as the little boy continued to bounce lightly on his feet. "We'll see you Sunday night," he said to Spencer and Helen, as JJ took hold of his outstretched hand.

They all said their goodbyes and Will led JJ out to their car as she waved at Henry once more as he blew kisses back at them. When the car lights had faded into the distance, Spencer shut the door and Henry looked at them expectantly. "What are we going to do first?"

….

A few hours later they sat in the tree house which had been lined with blankets and pillows, with a few lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Their sleeping bags were laid out for when Henry got tired. Helen had set up her telescope, which Henry was currently gazing through as Spencer climbed back up into the tree house after making the s'mores.

"I can see the stars Uncle Spence," he stated, not looking away from the lens.

"What shapes can you see Henry?"

That made the boy turn to Spencer, his confusion was evident on his face. "What do you mean?"

"The stars can make shapes, called constellations, and each constellation has their own name," Helen explained. The look on Henry's face was half amazement, half disbelief.

"Really?" He asked as he glanced back at the sky, obviously looking for shapes. The couple watched in silence for a few minutes before Henry gave up. "I can't make out any shapes Uncle Spence."

Spencer and Helen pointed out some of them and when Henry eyes adjusted and he was able to see them he was delighted. The two adults laughed at his exuberance, before holding out his s'more in a paper napkin. It took him a moment to realise the gooey chocolaty marshmallow treat was being offered to him. He happily ate the treat as he looked through the window of the tree house, wanting to find more constellations.

At the other side of the small hut Helen leant against Spencer where he rested against the wall while they ate their s'mores, watching Henry. "You're good with him," Helen commented in between bites as Spencer's arm wrapped around her loosely.

"I always thought children didn't like me. I got the impression they were uneasy around due to my awkwardness," he paused before laughing with Helen as Henry started moving his hand in the air, index finger pointed towards the sky, obviously tracing the shapes he saw. "It wasn't till Henry was three when I realised he liked me, that he was laughing with me, not at me." Helen tilted her head upwards to look at him.

"He adores you," she told him.

"He adores you as well," Spencer said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Helen blushed as she turned her eyes back to the little boy. "He called you 'Aunt Helen'."

"That was quite a shock. I wasn't sure how JJ and Will would react." Helen worried; after all she had only met them a few times since that first time at Morgan's house. Spencer reassured her by tightening his arm around her.

"I think the tree house may have had something to do with it." Spencer laughed at the disgruntled look on Helen's face, drawing Henry's attention to them.

"Nuh uh Uncle Spence, Aunt Helen is really nice and she makes you happy. That's why I called her Aunt," he declared confidently. "The tree house makes her cool."

Helen smiled triumphantly at Spencer, who pressed another kiss to her forehead. They settled into silence for a while as they continued to watch Henry. "My family likes you," Spencer said quietly into her hair, and Helen settled against him.

"I still have to meet your mother," she reminded him. "That reminds me, I was able to book of the same week in October."

"She will like you, even if it's for the same reason that Henry does. You make me happy," he whispered. Helen turned her head and their lips met sweetly. As they parted their eyes locked meaningfully.

"Are you two going to have children?" Their moment was broken by Henry and their heads swivelled to look at him, trying to figure out how to answer him.

"Um…I'm not sure Henry," Spencer found his voice first. "We haven't talked about it yet."

"Do you think we should have children Henry?" Helen asked. His expression was solemn as he tilted his head to the side as he thought about the question.

Suddenly his eyes lit up, and he nodded. "You would make good parents," he told them.

There was a weird mix of pride and fear welling inside Spencer. Although they had made no further commitments regarding their relationship, it was obvious to both of them they wanted a future together. They hadn't discussed children or marriage, let alone the possibility of moving in together. When Henry had asked the question, Spencer was scared it would frighten Helen. It hadn't, and the image of them sitting in this spot with their own child one day popped into his head, a warm feeling spread inside of his heart as he heard Helen speak to Henry.

"Why would we make good parents?"

"Because you both know lots of cool things about stars, Uncle Spence knows great magic tricks and can make really good s'mores. You already have a tree house, and tree houses need children to play in them," Henry explained and Helen had to bite back a laugh. "And I would like to have a cousin to play with."

"Maybe one day," Helen replied as she squeezed Spencer's hand. They were both surprised when Henry sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

"That's what Uncle Derek and Aunt Emi said, and I asked them a long time ago."


End file.
